Transcription of Document FFDoc-1288.pdf

Thursday 12:15 AM

Dear Anna & Frank:

Up a bit beyond my usual tonite & decided to justify it by writing you - not that I'm a truly early go-to-bedder, but for quite a while have been into the habit of at least crawling in around 11 PM, then reading a bit and finding that puts me to sleep in no time at all.

As of this minute I'm not sure if anyone has done me the favor of calling you, 'cause I haven't asked. But, just in case they haven't - and even if they have! - I guess I have reached the point where I'm ready to share with you the unpleasant truth that has recently come to roost in my bailiwick (PLEASE - don't examine that mixture of metaphors or whatever!) NAMELY: the scarey that happens only to others is happening to me. There are a few unknowns yet, but the very definite basic fact is that I have a "mass" on my right lung - about 1 inch in size, growing since when? but not seen in a Dec '78 xray. This all came to light the week before Easter. I had a cough (no where near as  constant or annoying as with pneumonia) & was beginning to feel the "blahs" that twice before presaged pneumonia. So, hoping to head that off, made a dr's appointment (even tho' mine was off on vacation) - that exam "sounded" like pneumonia so we had an immediate XRay & it sounded good to hear "You don't have pneumonia"! BUT Xray did show a mass and the only way to follow that up was by biopsy to see what we're dealing with. I sweat that one out for a week or more until last Thursday, the 23d.

Needless to say the anticipation was the cruelest part of that procedure - it was an outpatient deal, involved about 6 hours at the hospital, Reen & Jeanne were allowed to "support" during the whole process, & I was served by a pulmonary expert and a respiratory therapist who were primarily human & concerned, and known for their talents. The dr is a Dermott Killian, here about 5 years from the "ould sod" with a brogue, a sense of humor and a warm way of dealing with his patients that made everything more bearable. I can picture having a stout with him in Doolin[?]!!

The result of that bronchoscopy left us with more indefinites - Killian was poking around inside the lung & aiming to get a bite of the tumor, mass - but got only some washings 'cause the mass proved to be on the outside of the lung! As far as I know the washings were negative - but I'm still left with no final answer without some more surgical searching. That involves a Dr. Katz (Columbia & Yeshiva) who's allegedly tops in his thoracio - cardiovascular surgery. So, come Friday, May 8 he'll do a medcostenoscopy(spelling?) which, I understand, still cannot reach the growth but will be able to show if any lymph nodes along the wind pipe have been affected - if so, I guess that indicates the mass is malignant and then we talk about alternative treatments like radiation or chemotherapy.  If the test comes out negative it doesn't necessarily mean the growth isn't malignant - just that lymph nodes etc. haven't been affected. In that event the final diagnosis can only come from chest surgery - on the 11th. Beyond that I'm not sure I remember what the options are - but Maureen is scheduled to talk to Katz tomorrow - with a younger mind & a nursing orientation she can ask more relevant questions.

Aside from all that, the medical consensus seems to be that there are many positives - symptoms weren't really serious enough to get most people to the doctor, so I got there early; the mass is a small one; tho' I wouldn't suspect it, the doctors consider me to be in pretty good health which should be an advantage.

My spirits?? Naturally it was quite a blow & I couldn't bring myself to share it with family in the face of Easter holidays. So I managed in fair shape, I hope, & didn't have to lay it on anyone till after the holiday - which did make it easier for me then. Since then, of course, I've had my ups & downs (mostly cause I'm a confirmed coward) but I do seem to be leaning to the optimistic possibilities. I am working & knowing I can't manage all I'd like to before I take sick leave - but I have to say the "hell with it" for now.

It does irk me to know that about 2 months ago I decided to actively persue the route to retirement, was looking at assets, etc, had some case goals I wanted to reach first, but figured I could probably call it quits by the end of the year. With God's help & blessing that's still my goal.

Please, be optimistic with me and for me - I need you to think positively, pray for me, not worry about me!

And now, I have got to retire & won't dare tell you how wee the hour has gotten since I started this. Since my visit, have thought of you frequently, prayed for your special needs, & get some nice feedback now & then.

Thurs - 3 PM

Never did get to close this letter & want to get it into the office mail before they collect in another few minutes. Will be in touch again, don't know just when - but am sure my girls can keep you filled in too after next week.

Love & prayers, Dot